Barrak O’Bullshit

March 5, 2007

\ I’ve been following this pre-campaign-campaign for a little while, with the same level of interest I reserve for a daytime talk show:  I’ll pause what I’m doing every so often to look up and be disgusted, shake my head at how stupid people are, and then go back to doing something of greater importance… like picking my feet. 

I’ve decided to share with all of you the things I’ve learned so far from watching this disaster.  I’ll be posting them as it goes on.  Lets get started.

Thing #1:  Black people have to calm the hell down, and develop a little bit of perspective regarding race.  Having a sleazy senator compliment another sleazy senator isn’t racist.  Having a veteran politician refer to a neophyte politician with words like "clean" and "well spoken" are more likely to be references to his political past and his demeanor… "Clean" meaning that, since Obama’s only been in the Senate for 2 years… he probably hasn’t done anything that his people have had to cover up yet… and he hasn’t broken a flimsy promise he made in order to get elected.  "Well spoken" is probably a reference to the fact that Barak Obama is an exciting and moving speaker… and sadly, that is a trait in short supply these days – case in point: listening to George W. Bush pronounce words with more than one syllable is like listening to a Tourette’s patient read Shakespeare.  Black activists had an opportunity to prove that they’re not all totally insane by telling the black community of this country that sometimes, a compliment to a black guy is just that… a compliment to a black guy… not a sugar-tipped barb.  But no… Jackson went on about how it was suggestive… and we all pretended to have the dialogue about how racism is under every comment, and how we really hate black people when we say that we like them… and we all got a little dumber. 

If you want to hate Joe Biden, hate him for a good reason.  Hate him because he’s a sleazy, patronizing ultimately Democratic gasbag who’s got a slick answer for everything.  Oh, and he’s selling this really nice snake oil.  Joe Biden is, in my opinion anyway, the personification of the negative stereotype associated with Democrats – a waffling, condescending elitest whose round the clock smile conjures about as much warmth as a soft fart in a blizzard.  He’s just a real shit… hate him for that.  Don’t pretend the guy’s a racist… it’s just stupid.

Thing #2:  You’re not allowed to get excited about Barak Obama until you actually know where he stands.  Does anyone have a fucking clue what this guy’s politics are?  Anyone?  I dont.  If you do… please… illuminate me… because I dont have a single idea about where this guy falls on the political spectrum.  I’d like to believe in this guy… he’s cool and popular and black… and we’ve all seen the Fifth Element… and have all harbored a deep desire to have a black president – especially one who distances himself from kooky black activists who think that reverse-racism is okay because it’s racism reversed. 

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