Adventures in Los Angeles: Day Seven

June 20, 2007

I’m alive.  I’m alive, and am terrified of my hotel room.

The spider’s here.  I know it.

I had another workshop today.  It went fine.

I haven’t been exploring LA at all… and have, instead, been hanging out with Awesome Laura and some of (what can best be described as) the upper-classmen who are staying in this hotel.  They’re downstairs in the hotel bar every night at nine… and they’ve essentially adopted me at this point.  They’re all nice and strange and intelligent.

Poets scare me by the way.  They’re just weird fucking people.  Nice, but weird.

I’ve been slightly uncomfortable around other people though.  Awesome Laura and I were discussing this today, and I think it’s kindof strange.  Why, if I dont really want to be friends with a whole lot of people, and would prefer to have only a few good ones, do I go out of my way to talk to strangers?  Awesome Laura is quiet and reserved.  Cool.  She drifts around and chats on her cellphone… she’s so quiet and whispered with everything she does.  It’s an attractive way to be.  It’s how I am sometimes.  Of course… there are other times when I’m the exact opposite.  I can be quiet and reserved… but can also find myself being gregarious – smarmy and cheesy in an attempt to get people’s attention and approval.  Is that why?  Do I really just want people to like me that much?

I dont think so.  Of course… right now, I want to be left alone.

Awesome Laura was, of course, awesome when I was discussing this with her.  She’s so unlike most of the people I know… specifically because she totally reserves judgment.  I think it’s a midwestern thing.  Personally, I like it when people throw their annoyance and opinions around as violently as I do… but it’s refreshing to know someone who really reserves their judgment.  I like my new friend.

I keep bailing on the other people in my class.  They invite me out and I tell them that I’ll go.  Then I make up some bullshit story for why I cant.  I just lose interest.  I’d rather be left alone.  I’d like to go back to my room for a while, to watch bad television, and fart around.  I like quiet things.  I like getting  a drink with a new friend and telling embarrassing stories.  Really embarrassing stories. 

I’ll find my pace with everything soon enough.

Who’d have ever thought that I would come to a point in my life where popularity was a problem?

Certainly not the people in my high school.



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