Adventures in Los Angeles: Day Nought

June 24, 2007

I’m sitting in my bedroom, wearing my pornstar socks and the shirt I was wearing yesterday.  No pants.

It’s 8:30 in the morning here.  5:30 AM in my brain. 

I’ve gone through my mail and tossed my dirty clothes into the dirty clothes corner of my room. 

Maybe it’s the jetlag… but I’m feeling somewhat introspective and a twist mopey.  I’ll chalk it up to 10 days of drinking and smoking too much and getting to know creative people.  The strange thing is that I feel the same way right now as I did my first night in LA – detached and numb… like I didn’t belong. 

Home doesn’t feel like home at the moment.  It feels like I’ve wandered into an old photograph. 

How does a person go about deciding what they want?  Does anyone actually have the slightest clue?  You spend so many days focused on one thing – it could be anything, a job, another person, your kid, your idea of home… whatever – but then, in a flash, the things which seemed comfortable from one perspective, now feel foreign… and the strange feels more like home.  How do you chart a course if you don’t know where you’re starting from?

I don’t know what I want, and I don’t know where I should be.

Jetlag is for the birds.


One Response to “Adventures in Los Angeles: Day Nought”

  1. Looking forward to reading more. Great post.Thanks Again. Fantastic.

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