Dear Planet Earth,

October 20, 2007

I’d really really like it if you’d overlook how stupid and useless and mean and ugly and wasteful and damaging my species is… and give me a winter this year.  Yeah, I know we burn your dinosaur water, and strip mine your mountains, and bulldoze your forests, and overfish your seas, and eradicate the myriad critters that you let live here, too… I know we’re not worth it.  I know we cant even summon up the maturity to not blow each other up, or rape each other, or kill our babies, or plan to bury our nuclear waste under a mountain that’s on a mother fucking goddamn fault line… but I love winter.  I love the cold.  I love the snow.  Let me have snow.  Please?

I’ll be your best friend, really.  I promise!

-Andrew

PS: I’m sorry we’re such jerks!
PPS: I’m nice though!

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