Barak Oblahma

January 9, 2008

So contrary to the miles of expert witnesses that CNN and Fox News dragged out the other night, all of whom rang the many death knells of the Clinton campaign… Obama managed to lose the New Hampshire primary.

I’m actually kindof happy for Clinton.  Not because I support her candidacy… not at all.  In the faceoff between Clinton and Obama… I side with him.  Not for any really legitimate reason… as I don’t really believe that there are any legitimate reasons to support one over the other, outside of the aesthetic differences… but still, I throw my support behind him way more willingly than I do for Hillary.

I examined their policies a few nights ago… I checked their voting records… and basically, they’re the same person.  There are some differences in how they want to do what they’re planning…but they’re basically both liberal Dems who sell me not on their positions, but simply on the fact that they’re not Republicans.  Isn’t that sad?

They’re for gay rights and against tax cuts.  For universal healthcare and against prayer in schools.  They’re pro-choice (a bit too much in my opinion… I’m really on the fence about abortion), and pro stem cell, and anti-war.  No matter which one is elected, neither is going to actually do anything as president.  It’ll be business as usual.

Now, I can hear what you’re saying… "But Andrew… isn’t change the big thing now?"

Sure it is.  Obama has become the "candidate for change."  And how?  Because he said so.  He said, "I like change!" and everyone said… "You know what… that sounds like a great idea," in much the same way that a friend says after you announce that you’re going to open a bag of funions.  "Dude… funions?  That’s awesome."

If you really listen to Obama… he doesn’t really say anything new.  He makes the same hollow, political promises that every politican has made since the beginning of time.  So… if you think about it… isn’t he the picture of traditional politics?

This isn’t to say that I’m a big fan of Clinton either.  She’s smart and savvy and a tough lady… and I respect those things, much like how I respect Obama for being shrewd and clever… but what tips me for Obama is the fact that while he may be stuffy and a bit milquetoast… at least he’s not a mewling cunt.

Yeah, I said it.  Hillary Clinton is a cunt.  And that’s why I’m not going to vote for her.

I’d have a good reason not to vote for her… but I don’t.  The things she stands for that I agree with are shared by everyone in her party.  The things she stands for that I hate are shared as well.  She’s a democrat… I’m an independent.  I’m gonna like some stuff, and not like some stuff.  What it comes down to… like I said before… is aesthetics.

I’d rather have to listen to Obama yammer in my ear for four years than Hillary Clinton.  He’s better looking.  He’s more charming (though not by much).  Basically, I wont feel nagged if he’s in office… and that’s due, mainly, to the fact that he’s too boring to nag anyone.  He’ll just be smug… and I can handle smug.  But to hear Hillary’s voice droning on CNN for four years… that horrible, nasal tear… ugh god… I just can’t handle that.

Anyway… so I’m rooting for Obama… but only because he’s a black dude.  That seems fair.

I’ll probably write in Bill Shatner when it really comes down to election day.

That would be bitchin… if Shatner was the President.

And yes, you fuckers, I know he’s Canadian.  Whatever.  He still rules.

In other news: New Jersey just apologized to… well, I guess to blackness… for slavery. 

I’ll say that again.  The state of New Jersey… in the year 2008… apologized to black people in general (none of whom were slaves, mind you) for it’s role in the enslavement of their possible relatives over 150 years ago.

Guess what:  I’m not sorry.  I’m not sorry because I had nothing to do with it, and it didn’t happen to any living person in this country. 

Stupid.  Just plain stupid.

Since there’s no statute of limitations on this shit… I think Jeremy Poole should apologize to me for picking on me during little league when I was in second grade.

I think the Egyptians should apologize to the Jews for the Pyramids of Giza.

Since we’re going hog-wild with apologizing for crap we didn’t do… I’d like to apologize for assissinating Benizer Bhutto.  I’m also sorry for writing the movie Home Alone… for introducing Katie Holmes to Tom Cruise… and for re-introducing the zoot suit to teenagers in the late 90s.

If the NJ State Legislature is so hard-pressed to find something relevant to do with their time… something valuable… I’ll have some papers to grade in a few weeks.


Peace bitches.

Crap blog tonight, I know… sorry.

I’ve had 1/2 a bottle of wine.


One Response to “Barak Oblahma”

  1. Meowlin Says:

    >Obama has become the “candidate for change.” And how? Because he said so. He said, “I like change!”I’ll probably write in Bill Shatner when it really comes down to election day.
    That would be bitchin… if Shatner was the President.<
    What about Kurt Russell? He's a libertarian, if not actually a Libertarian (if you catch my distinction). Captain Kirk or Jack Burton… tough choice.
    – M. \"/

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