Just Because I’m a Lame-Ass

January 11, 2008

I’m putting down the five movies I think will be nominated for Best Picture (I’m such a gay), and which one will win, followed by the five movies I think SHOULD be nominated for Best Picture, and so on.

What Will Be Nominated – And Why:

Michael Clayton – Because Hollywood loves "liberal" themed movies starring Beautiful George
No Country for Old Men – Because of the hype, though the film was very good
Juno – Because indie films are fashionable now, regardless of how underwhelming and overwritten they are
There Will Be Blood – Again, hype… and it’s fucking good.
Rescue Dawn – Because it’s a war film, and because Grizzly Man rekindled Werner Herzog’s fame

What Will Win: probably Michael Clayton… and I don’t really mind that.

What Should Be Nominated – And Why:

Michael Clayton – Because it really was a seamless film.  The script was perfect, Clooney was really quite good, and the direction was extremely tight.  It managed to be about both a big idea, and a really well-drawn character.  Michael Clayton is a fantastic film.

No Country for Old Men – Because I’ve got an omegaboner for the Cohen brothers… and it’s well deserved.  Nobody does snarky nihilism like Joel and Ethan Cohen.  Ah… that must be exhausting…

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford – Because it was one of the most captivating films I’ve ever seen.  Brad Pitt deserves at least a nomination for this film… no kidding.  As does Casey Affleck (how do you spell that name?)  The film was beautifully shot, and absolutely gutwrenching to watch… it felt like I was losing my mind… and that’s pretty much the point.  Wonderful wonderful movie for guys to bore their girlfriends with.

There Will Be Blood – I wasn’t as bowled over by this as everyone else was, but I still thought it was magnificent.  What’s-his-name will most likely win best actor… and he deserves it… just for that mustache alone.  The movie is eerie and different and kindof revolutionary in the way it tells the kind of story it’s telling.  The score deserves best soundtrack.  Paul Dano is kindof eh, but otherwise the casting was fantabulous.  Any film with that many Kubrick references is bound to win my love.  Seriously… it’s like drenched in Stanley-juice.

3:10 to Yuma – I don’t really think this should be nominated.  Don’t get me wrong… I loved this movie… but it’s not a best picture.  It was, when it came out… but then all of the aforementioned movies showed up, and 3:10 just cant hold up.  I put this here in place of Rescue Dawn… mainly because I haven’t seen it… but I’m like 98% sure that when I do, I’ll want it up here.  Herzog is a really wonderful director… and he certianly knows the subject, Rescue Dawn being his second film on the subject.  He’s bleak and dark… he’s German for fuck’s sake… if anyone can make a film about a man and his dying friend lost in a jungle in Laos (or Vietnam, or wherever) it’s Werner Herzog.  But, since I haven’t seen it… 3:10’s going up in it’s place.

What Should Win?

This is hard.  I’m going to say The Assassination of Jesse James… the rest of these films were really wonderful… like, really really wonderful… Michael Clayton especially… but I just felt like Jesse James did the best job out of all.  I can’t really pick a favorite… I just know that I don’t want Juno up there with these fucking brilliant films.

Watch them… all of you.

Don’t waste your time with Juno.

Diablo Cody can kiss my pasty white ass.

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