Dear CNN:

February 6, 2008

Yo, CNN.  I’m impressed, dog.

Anyone else watch the CNN coverage of the primary last night?  I was really blown away by how professional and stylish it was.  Now don’t get me wrong… my stomach still turned at the sight of Wolf "the Dialtone" Blitzer, and Lou "I H8 Wetbax" Dobbs… but them aside, I really enjoyed CNN’s coverage. 

For those who didn’t see it… the reporters would walk up to big, fancy screens, showing the embattled states, and would simply touch them… which would elicit a swooping zoom into that particular state, Missouri for instance, and would offer a charming breakdown of the votes, percentages and pie charts and everything.  This fancy-ass program let them go district by district, and look at the voting percentages in every one.  It was technology used well.  So bravo guys.

Fox had a similar system… but they’re just awful.  CNN’s lighting and palate choice was much softer, whereas Fox News went with their standard tone of "WATCH US OR GAY, ATHEIST NIGGERS WILL COME AND EAT YOUR BIBLES!!!" 

Sorry.  I know that was a bit over the top.  But that’s really the sense I get from watching Fox News.  Brit Hume opens his mouth and nooses come flying out.  Sean Hannity has the moldering skins of young black girls in his bathtub.

Ann Coulter. 


Anyway.  CNN!  I’m often quite down on you.  I don’t like cable news… it’s too much like ESPN for me to take seriously.  That being said… you really stepped up to the plate last night.  So well done.

Also… Anderson Cooper… you’re so hot.  I’m serious.  I’m so straight… but I love your little pinchy, serious face.  That whisper of moonlight that is your hair.  I love that while Bill O’Reilly has his no spin zone… you go 360.  You’re such a rebel!  Hold me.

That’s all.

(Sidenote: When did I start writing missives rather than blogs?  Wtf is that shit about?)


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