Re: the Pig

September 10, 2008

Dear Barack Obama:

Howyadoin?  How's the campaign going?  Not too hot these days, huh?  I know… that blows.  I know I said before that I'm not crazy about you – and I'm not.  But the more I learn about Sarah Palin, and her charming opinions on global warming (we're not playing a part in it) and the End of Days (in that she believes in one), among the myriad other things she stands for that I detest – shooting animals, no gay rights, obviously piss-poor sex education, obviously no abortions even in cases of rape and incest – the more I am inclined to give you my vote.  Not because I like you… but (yes, to all of my friends who said this) because you're the far lesser of two evils.  Forgive my lamentations, bro.  You just leave so much to be desired.  But I'm over that… we're okay now.  Unless…

Of course there was an "unless…"

Unless you pussy out on this "lipstick on a pig" thing.  Dude, do not take the Dem route of just apologizing.  It's a common phrase – and the McCain campaign (no stranger to innuendo, I might add) has absolutely no ground in attempting to suggest otherwise.  Let him hang himself on this one.

Do. Not. Apologize.

To do so implies guilt.  Instead, turn to McCain and ask him if he'd like to discuss actual policy, rather than who's wearing the lipstick.

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