Mr. Nuts is back!

November 24, 2008

My squirrel friend is back!  After a long few months of wondering… I heard him scrabbling around on his little squirrelly feet this morning.

That charming little gentleman…

He actually woke me up when he fell from the ceiling, clattering down inside the wall beside my bed, and landing with a fuzzy thud on the floor.  I'm sure he's okay though – because he's indestructible.  He is fundamentally incapable of dying… A. because if he dies, I'll be sad, because I've anthropomorphized the shit out of him and B. because then I'll have a bloated, dead squirrel in my wall… and I don't think I can handle that.

For those who don't know, I first met Mr. Nuts when I spied his little arm peeking out from under the molding in my hallway.  I fed him bread and stuff for a few days.  My father encouraged to blind him with ammonia. 

I'll keep you all updated… as I'm sure you're all desperate for knowledge on this subject.

On an unrelated note: the secretary of the English Department at the school I teach at really gets on my nerves, and I (to the tune of the crescent fresh song) thinkity-think she shouldily-should improvity-prove her atti-ti-tude cause… I will break her neck… -out her eyes I'll peck.

That's it.

Welcome new motorcycle friends… this is what you've chosen to read.  Weirdos.


One Response to “Mr. Nuts is back!”

  1. guitargeek Says:

    I had a pet squirrel when I was a kid, and Maynard was his name. I kept him in a rather huge, comfortable cage full of all sorts of things to play on/in/around.
    One night, Maynard got out of his cage and WRECKED the kitchen. He burrowed his way through two loaves of bread and broke several dishes, including a big antique earthenware bowl in which I’d stored the birdseed to feed him (birdseed all over the floor). Who’d have thought such a tiny rodent could contain such an enormous capacity for mayhem?

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