Cracking an egg of knowledge and making some truth omlettes:

April 20, 2009

1.  Claire Danes got pretty:  I don't know how or when it happened, but it did, and now I've got a crush on her. 

2.  I should have studied linguistics:  I had a date-thing with this Greek girl on Friday, and she's getting her Master's in linguistics.  We talked about all sorts of things that cracked my head open and kissed my brains, and I understood practically none of it… and I love that.  Also, she's got the hottest accent in the whole frakking world. 

3.  I should have been a playwrite in the 1950s:  I saw "Waiting for Godot" last week… and I basically wish I was Samuel Beckett.  Only not quite so… Irish?  "Nothing to be done."  Oh god, what a great play.

4.  My neighborhood is too close to Camden:  I'm no stranger to noise coming through my front window.  In the last year and a half that I've lived in this apartment, I've overheard scores of Camden children scream horrible things at one another, "Yo, Tre', I'm gon' fuck yo momma, yo'" (they're such eloquent chaps), throw chinese food at each other's faces, compare penis sizes (like, really, that happened in the alley outside my bedroom window – two thugatronic thugsters whipped out their wieners and compared them.  I heard this.  Really), and so on and so on.  But not until 1:30 this morning did I get to witness an actual attempted stabbing.  By a wild-haired older black lady in a nightgown, no less.  It was like watching an episode of Cops.  When I moved to Collingswood, I had done so with the expectation that I'd be greeted by the neighborhood welcoming party – two gay dudes, both named Brad, and a surly-looking lesbian named Chuck.  They'd hand me a cookie bouquet and sing a tune from Brigadoon, and then invite me over for chamagne cocktails.  This is my gay-neighbor fantasy.  Chuck the lesbian would have probably hung out in the driveway, working on her charger.  Yes, I realize that this is probably offensive… but let me have my gay stereotype fantasy.  Because I'm currently drowning in a black stereotype nightmare.

5.  I can pretty much bullshit my way through anything:  I can't tell if that's a good thing or not.  To test this – I'm applying for a position teaching pre-Medieval lit at a philly university this upcoming Fall.  I've got noooooooooo clue about any of it.  Ordinarily my professionalism would get in the way of such misadventure (yes, I do have a scrap of professionalism in me somewhere… squeezed in between lust and outrage, probably), but to be honest with you, the economy is butt-romancing my teaching prospects… so I'll take what I can get.  Anything so that I don't have to go back to CCC, which was a rusty old dullard factory.

6.  I'm good at making new friends, and revitalizing old ones:  What's weirdest about transitioning from one lifestyle to another, is that you start to remember old skills that fell by the wayside.  I'm actually kindof a charming motherfucker sometimes.  Most of the time I'm a big lump with an attitude like a box full of badgers… but when I'm on… motherfucker I'm a pip.

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2 Responses to “Cracking an egg of knowledge and making some truth omlettes:”

  1. midnitesnak Says:

    I hope this comment doesn’t come off weird…
    After five days of silence, i was beginning to get antsy. While trolling an imdb message board one lonely night, I happened upon one of your comments. I am rarely compelled to click on links to random people’s blogs. Even titles as cheeky as yours are not a guarantee I’ll waste my time reading even one entry. But I did click and in about 3 hours, I went through most of your entries. I probably would have finished had i not felt guilty about all the school work I wasn’t doing.
    Your writing is funny and insightful and your wording regularly puts a smile on my face even when the subject matter should not. FWIW, I’m a gemini too and can relate to many of your musings and habits and various “date-things.” You have a few more years on me but as i reach the cusp of adulthood (graduating from college in a month!) your thoughts are a comfort to my very frazzled psyche.
    i look forward to the next post.

  2. a. Says:

    That’s astonishingly kind of you to say, thank you.
    Guess I’ll have to post more often.
    And don’t be too worried about graduating from college – you’re probably not going to figure shit out for a while still. And you shouldn’t – the most interesting people I know are still kinda lost.
    It’s the people who tumble from college right into adult life that end up taking their own lives at 50. So wander – fray your psyche more.
    If anything… it’ll mean I’ll have company when I’m a crazy bagman on the streets.


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