Pins and Needles

November 16, 2010

Both of my legs fell asleep tonight while I worked at my desk grading papers.  A deep sleep – each leg numb up to the cheek.

Suddenly I had to pee.

There’s no way I could walk to the bathroom.  I tried walking on a numb leg like this once in college – I wound up collapsing in a heap. So instead of walking, I scooted my desk chair down the hallway, as if rowing a little rickety canoe down a creek.  Once I reached the bathroom, I tried to pop the wheel over the threshold, but I lost my balance and fell on the floor.  Both my my legs exploded into a trillion sparkly little pins and needles of leggy pokey death.  I screamed and moaned and oooooh fuuuuuuuck meeeeee’d and dragged myself across the bathroom floor towards the toilet.  Once there, I unbuckled my pants – still screaming – climbed atop and peed sitting down.

My cat watched me the whole time, his face a mixture of confusion and disgust.

I’m almost 30 years old.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: